It all sounds so cliche and a little bit pathetic, but that’s what I found myself doing.

At the age of 20, I thought I already had it all worked out. I had a beautiful home, a decent enough job and was happily engaged. I made sure that from the outside looking in, everybody would think that I had it all figured out too. I’d invite them over to my perfectly set up home, unknowing that just a few hours before I’d had to scrub days worth of washing up stacked up in the sink because we’d been in yet another battle about whose turn it was.

I even managed to convince myself that everything was great and that we’d soon be married and starting to build that “happily ever after” that I’d always dreamed about. I made excuses for every single flaw; it took me so long to realise that I wanted more from life and from a relationship, and thats it’s unfair to expect somebody else to change just to make you happier.

So, just before my 21st birthday I packed up my home and moved back in with my parents.

It’s been a year of many ups and downs, and I feel like taking a step back from sharing my life with you on here and through YouTube was the best thing for me at the time. Vlogging was something that we had done together, and being on my own I felt a little bit lost with it. I felt I had nothing left to blog about because everything that was exciting in my life had gone, and my life had turned into nothing but a routine of work, work and more work as I also started a new (and very exciting) job.

A few months had passed, and I found myself back with Ant (who I was with before Ryan) and things suddenly started getting better for me, a year later and we’ve reserved a plot for our first home to be built early next year and I couldn’t be more excited.

I went through a bit of a dark period, especially in a the last 6 months – which i’ll get into on another post – and now i’m feeling more like myself again I feel I needed something to be passionate about. So here I am, starting over with a clean slate and a head buzzing with ideas.

Love, Jess


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